I'm happy. That's the truth. I have every reason to be. It's almost been a year and I want to take a moment and just think about that. February 19th, 2014. It was a Wednesday and I was playing my ukulele on the balcony of my freshman dorm room. You called me. We hadn't talked in two days and I was worried. But you called me. And you said that we were through. You, Lauren, said that you no longer wished to be with me. And that broke my heart. Why did a girl whom I dated for only nine months had such an impact on me? Well, she was the first girl that I ever loved. I tore down every wall and left myself vulnerable, thinking that we'd make it. What a naive sentiment, thinking back. But I had no idea. And after she broke up with me, I still had no idea. I had no idea for a long time, too long of a time. But what else could I do? I tried every coping mechanism that I thought would work. But nothing worked. Nothing worked for 4 months. The sadness was alleviated, temporarily, during the summer. Going back home over the summer helped me find the people who truly were with me, and who were not. But coming back to school and seeing you. It brought back all the sadness. And for two months, I was struggling. I forced myself to create a blog, a diary of my feelings, to help cope. Still, despite being 7 months since our breakup, I still was at a loss. But, just like during the summer, I learned who my real friends were. And being with them, every day, gave me happiness again. And you, Lauren, became nothing. You went from my one and only thought, to someone that no longer had any meaning. Because my family and my friends, who are my second family, are the only people who deserve to have any meaning.

You unblocked me on Facebook. I think it was because you saw me, last week I believe. I barely noticed you. Jacob, my best friend, was actually the one who spotted you. And I smiled and waved, just as a polite person would do to someone he knew. But I didn't stop. I didn't stop and talk to you. Because I was with Jacob and Emily. And they're my friends, who deserve my attention more than you do. Maybe you unblocked me because you realize that it's pointless now. And you're right, it is.

Lauren, I loved you. Truly I did. But that's over. And I'm glad it is. Because in the course of a year, so many things have changed, for the better. I lost almost 30 pounds. I grew out my hair. And more importantly, I found my circle, my crew, my group of friends. And I couldn't be any more happier to be a part of their shenanigans.

It may seem contradictory to say all this even though I'm mentioning her. But I doubt that there will ever be another post about her, ever. I only started this blog to help cope. But I no longer need to, and is why I haven't posted much.

But more importantly, this post isn't dedicated to Lauren. This is dedicated to all the people in my life who helped me, one way or another, in the past year.

Thank you Sammy, David, Nathan, and Jerry for giving me a home over the summer, metaphorically. I've known you guys for years and our squad will never be broken. I'm thankful for all the advice you've given me about Lauren, and I can't wait to spend the summer with you guys again.

Thank you Tim, Pav and Justin (and David L but I never see you these days!) for the couple squad hangouts in Avery, and various shenanigans. I'm glad we've gotten closer this year and I hope to go out to more parties with the gang soon!

Thank you Alicia, Jess, Naomi and Taylor, for being just fun lady friends to be around and being a part of the "squad," (I've used that word so much). I remember you all coming up to our suite last year and were always so friendly, and I'm glad I get to hang out with you all more often. I miss the lunch group last semester though, Hope to have more nights out partying more often!

Thank you Sean, Walker, Jordon and Tyler, my suitemates last year. Sean, you're a chill dude. Shame I see you the least out of everyone else nowadays, but it was nice hanging out last year, and I wish you luck with NROTC, and hope you and Brittany are doing well. Walker, your shenanigans last year always had me laughing. I'm glad you still remember me these days and give invites to Alpha Sig parties. Jordon, always coming in clutch whenever I need a haircut. You're chill af and wish we hung out more! Tyler, I don't think there's ever a week when we don't eat at least one unplanned dinner at the dining hall together. Rooming in Rams Village next year will be chill. Glad to have you as a friend.

Thank you Emma and Emily. Nowadays I see you two practically every day. I always love the mall trips, the nights talking in yall's room, the various squad lunches, the shit talking and complaining about classes, and so much more. You two will always be my closest girl friends here, and I'm very thankful to have been neighbors last year. I'm sure we'll all take a mall trip soon, maybe Smithfield to the outlets? Yeah that'll have to happen.

Thank you Jacob. You're basically my closest friend. It's weird, how life works. You were my randomly assigned roommate freshman year, yet we're basically the same person. We like all the same shit and we're basically striving for the same dream job. We've spent so many nights just talking. We've taken a million trips to the mall. I swear we eat out somewhere like 3 times a week. You're like a brother to me, and I'm glad we met. I hope you find a girl who shares your values and wants to travel and doesn't want children until after like 35. Though I already know who you have in mind. But let's hope that works out.

And that's that. All those people have made my life a million times better. And I wouldn't want it any other way.