Last week I met up with some friends. The girl from State there. It was her birthday.. So we all went out for dinner. I was so happy. I was getting another shot at talking to her, pursuing something. Even though I told myself to live for myself for a little, I didn't want to let this opportunity slip. So I talked to her. And the excitement that I had before, the same connection that I had felt when I first met her, it wasn't there. As I listened to her, as I talked to her, even when I hugged her goodbye, I felt nothing. I built that one exchange last year up so much in my mind that I had pictured this perfect girl, this girl who could be by my side. That wasn't the case. Bluntly, she just didn't appear to be my type anymore. Or maybe she just never was. Maybe I was so engrossed in finding a girl who I could be with that I just painted a picture in my head, a picture that didn't translate to what was reality.
Am I disappointed? A little bit. But this is all just proof that I need to focus on myself more. Improve myself physically and mentally. Lose that extra bit of fat, for myself. Improve my grades and stay locked in on my school work and ultimately my future, for myself. I think it'll work out better if I think for myself, and I'm going to do just that.
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