Fall break fun, comfortability + major changes are going to happen

October 19th, 2014. Sunday. Back from a nice Fall break. No classes for Thursday and Friday, so I went home. Reconnected with the friends I was with over the summer. It was really good to see them. I do regret not spending much time with them back when me and Lauren were dating. Back then I was comfortable with the path that I was going. Leave those old friends behind and ride the train of success with Lauren. It was naive of me to think me and Lauren were going to last. She had a whole world to explore. She didn't want to be confined by her relationship with me. I'm not going to say that she made a mistake. Those are her terms and she can live her life. She made that choice. I'm just going to move on and continue with my life too. It's just that I left my friends behind. I'm just glad that they didn't forget me and took me back in after our the breakup. I really needed them and it was a mistake to leave them behind.

But it was fun seeing them. Sammy and Celina's baby, Lillian, is doing fine. She's the closest thing to a child that I have, since I'm her "uncle." I'm happy that I get to see her grow up over the coming years. Nathan and Jerry are doing just fine too. 

There are things that I need to change. I need more focus. No more distractions. I've been distracted a lot in my pursuit of better Chemistry grades. Over the break I've been told about how hard Chemistry at UNC is, and I need to adjust my schedule and add more studying. It's going to be more time spent in the library, less time out with Jacob and company. It's just a sacrifice that I need to make, and I truly do plan on acting on it. 

I'm also going to be adjusting my diet. I've been eating REALLY shitty lately. I haven't gained too much weight since I've still been going to the gym, but I do want to lose more, so I'm going to make better decisions about my diet. I was lax about it before, but I'm basically going to do what I did over the summer to lose weight. Which is watching my calorie count again and forcing myself to avoid high calorie foods. Which is the obvious way of losing weight but I usually don't care about calories. So yeah.

Yeah this was a stupid update. Not much going on. I've been pretty apathetic with the girls that I'm interested in. But I think I'm still going to talk to the third girl. Out of all of the girls, she seems like the one that has similar goals to me. Having someone like that in my life again will be nice. Being with Lauren made me happy. We talked about grades, getting into medical school and problems surrounding that. I was comfortable.

I've learned not to get too comfortable. I let my walls down, and was vulnerable. My breakup with Lauren was borderline devastating, and its effects are still around even today, though obviously much more diluted. As much as I want to date a girl like third girl, I know that it's going to take a lot to let my walls down again. This isn't something that I'm worrying about too much, but it's something to think about.