October 24th, 2014. Friday. I'm waiting for Jacob to get here, then we're just going to chill. It's been a mentally taxing week and I need a break. Two Chemistry exams and a Spanish paper have drained me. The Analytical Chemistry test was awful. I have a D in that class, but sadly so do a lot of people. The average on the test was a 69. The other teacher's class had a 91 average. Says a lot. The Organic Chemistry exam wasn't bad but I studied 10x more for that one anyway. Fuck man, I need to do better.
Enough about school. I've been doing really well. I saw third girl A LOT this week. I was in the library every day this week. It's my new home. Turns out she hangs around the library a lot as well. I've basically found more reason to go there now. I talked to her several times, established myself as a friend I guess.
I really do like her. But part of me is so apathetic about asking her out. I guess my grades are a factor in that. Maybe fear of rejection is another. But I hate that. I hate using that as an excuse. It shouldn't be. I got too comfortable with Lauren, maybe that's why. But I'm not really going to mention Lauren much anymore. I don't care about her anymore, so writing about her is pointless unless she talks to me. Anyway, I'm comfortable talking to third girl. She's smart and really cares about both doing good in school and having fun. She isn't just a workaholic but she also doesn't neglect school either. Funny, she reminds me a lot of how Lauren was. I can see me in a relationship with her. But she also doesn't come off as someone who really wants to be in a relationship. She likes talking to different people and socializing, not someone tied down. But it's not like you're that tied down in a relationship. Unless she wants to have sex with a shit ton of guys. Then of course a relationship wouldn't be for her, but she doesn't seem like that kind of girl. (disclaimer: that "kind of girl" isn't a bad kind of girl, just clarifying in case someone interprets otherwise). I really don't know. The only way I'll know for sure is if I continue talking to her and ask her on a date. That's it. Yet that seems so hard for me. I wish everything would just fall right on my lap but life's not that easy. So I'll "grow some balls" (hate that term too) and see what I can do.
Anyway as for other updates, I'm back at it at the gym. Had a good workout today. As I mentioned before in the last blog, I gained some weight, which means more dieting and more gym. I hate dieting, but who doesn't? I spent the summer dieting and it was shitty. Passing by that damn McDonald's a minute away from my house and not getting anything the whole summer was a shame. Okay I lied, I did treat myself a few times. But I only got Fish Fillets, so does that really count?
Suitemates are still interestingly weird. The fire alarm went off yesterday and John and Andrew were making a fool out of themselves. John yelled at people. People looked at them funny. Sometimes I wish I didn't know them. But at the same time I sympathize and appreciate them. It could be worse. Definitely could be worse.
Yeah that's about it. Even though this week was fucking tiring, there were a lot of positives. And I'm hoping that the positives are here to stay.
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